Water keeps on flowing

As much as I feel my life has been at a standstill for a long time now, I’ve actually lived here in Scotforth Road for nearly a year, and am about to move again. Over the last few months, I’ve been in such a state of mental stagnation personally that I’ve seen very little worth writing about. I don’t want every post in my blog to be about how much it sucks to be depressed and have anxiety (it’s a lot, by the way) and I fear that’s what it would turn into if I was in a more regular posting routine at the moment. I barely sleep, hardly ever leave the house, and only ever seem to think about how badly I’ve ruined my life since I left home. I’m in a constant state of fear that it won’t be too much longer before my boyfriend and friends give up on me entirely.

Which, in a round-about way, brings me to my point. Even if I was inclined to write more often and with more detail about my present state of mind, I seem to have fractured my writing bone. That first paragrpah is such a poorly written heap that I can’t see how to tidy it up without causing it to collapse in on itself. So not only would my posts be very maudlin, self-depricating and miserable, they’d be poorly written and unpleasent to read, too. No-one wants to read stuff like that.


One thought on “Water keeps on flowing

  1. Firstly let me be the first to say that I will read your posts no matter what they are about. Blog about the things you want to blog about and have no shame in doing so.

    My posts tend to be about my neuroses (I refer you to this rather frantic and crazy post http://ifnobodyspeaksofremarkablethings.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/im-on-bloodbuzz.html) and I find that it helps me work through things in my mind and usually at the end of a blog-post I have realised at least one thing that’ll help me or give me comfort or something.

    Secondly, do not doubt your writing. Sometimes it is not the quality of the “art” that diminishes but ones love for it, ones self-confidence in writing/performing/composing it, ones self-confidence in presenting it.

    It may or may not be literary genius (who am I to judge) but it is unmistakably you, unmistakably entertaining and, at a time when even the simplest tasks may feel like a mountain to climb, an achievement.

    I am hoping you can stay positive and even if this is impossible take some solace in the fact that you have awesome friends who are willing to stick by you no matter what.

    Huggles and love.

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